Saturday, May 28, 2005

Yahooo..today was a really slack day manz. Got no tut so only haf lect at 9-11am. Heh.. Met up wif this lady, who was a staff in SYCF, at noon since she wanted to tok to me. The funny thing was this: i don't even know her at all. She was asking my frenz n i to complete surveys yesterday but i didn't hear what she was saying. Then in the middle of lect, i received her sms. Fast sia. Din't know whether i shld meet her a not at first but den i was like 'ok lor. no harm wat.' So yeah la, i met up wif her in the end. O..i also met 2 CMM 2nd year students, Esther and Owen. They are friendly and super nice ppl. ;)

Yeah..but i dun tink i will join SYCF, maybe just join them for a time of fellowship during lunch breaks tat's all. Reason being is that the tok i had wif the staff lady put me off. It is not only me but my fren as well who was present wif me. The way she said it was like so forceful and that i must join. Somemore she said that evangelism is every Christian's mission and that we shld share the gospel. Yes i agree. But the way of reaching out to others come in many ways. Hers is like meet up wif our frenz and immediately share the gospel. If i were a non-Christian, it will totally put me off manz. Sheesh. Aiya..plus there are many others that i dun wanna tok abt.

Anyway, i managed to do some catching up wif Debra. Met up wif her for lunch, went looking ard (ended up buying two clothes) and we caught Star Wars 'The Revenge of the Sith'. The movie was not bad. Quite interesting i guess. Heh. After that, went to church for Envision and worship was power!! I was totally ministered to. I really treasure the time all of us gathered to juz spend time in worship and fellowshipping wif one another. I thank God for all of it. :)

Ok..tis wk was my first wk in tp. Not too bad except for wanting to fall aslp during lects. Haha..wat's new? ;p Got to know my coursemates better and yeah, we are more like frenz now. My timetable is actually quite slack la compared to my fren's, which is like totally pack. My gdness!! It's crazy!! Hmmm..still thinking whether i shld join one cca. I want but i dunno what to join. I feel like doing everything but i got only 24hrs a day plus my studies. Argh!! O well, shall see how first.

O yeah..this lady asked me to complete a survey at a bus-stop on wed. I found out that it was actually Campus Crusade. Haha.. Received a call frm them today so shall see how whether to join them on wed. Yup.. I attended an NE session on wed since there was no tut. Hee.. It was on 'responsible citizen'. The interesting part of that the speaker used a Catholic priest as an example, used the words 'faith', 'believe', 'God' and 'unseen'. I was wondering whether he is a Christian or Catholic. But of course i din't ask la. Heh.. However, whatver he said does apply to us Christians as well. Do we believe in our leaders, not only that, but have the faith in them that they will lead the church according to God's good purpose for us? What does it mean to be a responsible Christian? And so on so forth.

K..shall leave you wif 'Angels Brought Me Here' since i cldn't find 'Inside Your Heaven'. I luv these two songs sang by Bo and Carrie. Cya!!
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Angels Brought Me Here by Guy Sebastian (prefer Carrie's renediction)

It's been a long and winding journey
But I'm finally here tonight
Picking up the pieces
Walking back into the light
To the sunset of your glory
Where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling
When I look into your eyes

My dreams came true
When I found you
I found you, my miracle

If you could see what I see
That you're the answer to my prayers
And if you can feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here

Standing here before you
Feels like I've been born again
Every breath is your love
Every heartbeat speaks your name

My dreams came true
Right here in front of you
My miracle

If you could see what I see
You're the answer to my prayers
If you could feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here

Brought me here to be with you
I'd be forever grateful (oh forever grateful)

My dreams came true
When I found you
My miracle

If you could see what I see
You're the answer to my prayers
If you could feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here

If you could see what I see
You're the answer to my prayers
If you could feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here

Dre@my JeSs Life Written @ 4:11 PM

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

I'm back from 17-up retreat. Ok..more like i was back home yesterday afternoon. Suppose to be in sch today but they said first wk got no lab and tut; and since i haf both today, it means no sch for me. Haha..cool manz. An extended one day hol. ;)

Anyway, the retreat was grt. It was slack, fun, food but lotsa mosquitos' bites. I got bitten like so many times that i kept scratching. First time i ever had to scratch and scratch. At least now i knoe nxt time better not have retreat there again. It's a no no for me.

During the retreat, we did the Network bk and for me personally, it was grt. I discovered the gifts that i'm not aware of having them but they are certainly true in my life and affirmed by others. The only confusing thing was my personal style, which ended up right in the center of all four categories. It was like the left and right brain test that i did. The result was also mostly directed to both. Sheesh..but i was glad i wasn't the only one. Kris also had the same result. He asked maurice and maurice said that we are balanced ppl. Hmm..true mehz? I seriously dunno. Haha..

Leaders' retreat and youth camp are coming up. Leaders' retreat probably i will be going but not totally confirmed. But for youth camp, i dunno whether i shld go. I dun tink i will be taking leave and if i do sign up for camp, i will be going for half of the camp. Then i go for what? All my batch ppl, who will be going, will be leaders except for me. I will feel weird. *sigh* Shall see how it goes.

Kk..that's all for now. Cya!!

Dre@my JeSs Life Written @ 5:13 AM

Saturday, May 21, 2005

I'm now like busy msging, chatting, doing the assessments n getting ppl to help me complete one as well. It's been a long time since i felt this way. Nice though cos it's all basically admin work. Haha..

Anyway, i had TP Orientation for the past two days. They are smart lor. They purposely only give the matric card n time-table on the second day. In other words, those who actually intended to skip the second day (like me!!) had no choice but to come. Ahhh!! But in the end, i never did regretted going.

My SL (Synergy Leader) rocks big time manz. She 'took care' of us despite being sick and she's really fun and nice. Heh ;) But so sad she wun be ard cos she will be at Sentosa Campus as she is in Hospitality and Tourism. Darn manz. As for my course class ppl, i got to know them better during these two days and they are indeed not what you see them to be on first impression. There are guys who represent their youth clubs in basketball, another in Singapore Orchestra, freelance dancer and so on so forth. The list goes on and on. O yeah, not to miss out my care person as well who us also the course manager. Woohooo.. He is nice and quite funny but i dun tink i will ever approach him for help in terms of stress and emotions.

To cut whatever that happened during the orientation short, it was quite fun but also sian at the same time. Business School is really ra ra and hyper. We kept cheering non-stop esp the leaders and helpers. They are even more on and energetic than us. Haha.. No wonder some of them are starting or even have lost their voice. But i like the cheers and the mass dance. So fun..heh ;)

Okie okie shall end here. Will be having 17-up retreat during the weekends and monday. Looking forward to it. All the food we gonna eat and the photos we gonna take. Haha..

Kk..nitez dudes!!

Dre@my JeSs Life Written @ 4:28 PM

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Looks like its raining and with a loud thunder plus the lightning that basically lighted up the whole sky. It's really a bright one. Scary though as the bigger it is, the higher the voltage. Wah.. Remind me of an incident i had barely escaping begin hit by a lightning. Phew!!

My face is a bit red and i am quite tan now. It's better than begin fair. Went to Wild Wild Wet for the first time with jere, shaun and joey. It was fun..lotsa sun, water and speed. The rate we came down on the tube was super fast (and reckless) that the crew remembered us and did not want to push the tube down for us. So we had to move it ourselves. Haha.. Most of the time we were in the shiok river where joey and i were capsized again and again by shaun plus me getting tickled by jere. I want to relax and lie on the float also cannot. Haiz.. But i capsized shaun once. Heh ;)

After that, we went makan then the guys went to play pool as kw and jamie came along. I want to play too but i did not bring ic with me. Argh!! Wasted manz. Then there was this drive-in movie thing and they were showing Dodgeball. So we went to watch as well. Nice show.

As for today, i went for the Prayer Concert and was happy to see 3 of my grp members there. Though there were only 6 gals and a few guys, it was a grt time of worship, prayer and sharing.

Anyway as i couldn't tag into my shoutbox or anyone else's, i wanna thank sis and jere for the encouragement. Thx a million guys!! ;) Okie..signing off.

Dre@my JeSs Life Written @ 2:55 PM

Friday, May 13, 2005

I have no intention to write all these down into here but since it has been pointed out and talked abt in the blogs and email, i felt the need to do so and not hold back anymore. The more i keep it to myself and not voice out abt it, the more frustrated i feel. Whatever i am going to say in here is in general. I'm not targetting anyone. I am just going to let my thoughts be written down in words here. (I may leave some things out and it is going to be a long entry)

Divisions in the ym. Joy and unity are absent. The fire is disappearing. Purpose of staying in ym is fading. Feeling of leaving is starting to set in or even at the verge of it. All these signs only make one thing truely visible, ym is falling. Do we just leave it here in this final conclusion, sit back and not do anything? Anyway, it's God's will for ym. So no matter what we do, it will still happen. It is pointless in taking any actions. Do we feel that way?

Frankly speaking, yes i do feel that way. I feel like not doing anything else but just carrying out the 'orders' of the leaders and my duties. During worship, i don't even feel like begin part of it with the others. You may say that it shouldn't be this way. Worship is a time between God and myself. If it is so, then why do we gather together for a time of praise and worship? I may as well stay at home. I can still worship Him the same. Everytime during worship, i don't feel the joy, the spirit of hunger and thirst. I am watching 'dead' youths standing there, eyes on the screen, lips moving and clapping slaggishly. Is it suppose to be this way? Taken frm jere's blog:"when we express ourselves, our love to God, it's surely not just standing there arms folded and stuff. but its natural like rev beat said...anyone in right mind wun worship their God standing there watching. there's an expectation...to connect and for God to move...something must change!!!!" Do the youths come with expectation that something will happen? This may be the reason of the differences we see between the worship in church and outside such as camps and events.

How abt unity? How does it come abt? For me, unity comes frm fellowship. In this world, fellowship usually refers to a time of fun, food and chit-chats. But real fellowship goes beyond that. It is experiencing life together, helping one another, building each other up, sharing each other's troubles and encouraging one another. All these can be achieved when we love one another. In John 13:34-35,"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Now coming to the pt of leaving, i will not deny that i also do feel like leaving. Why do we feel that way? No more fire? Left-out? Worn-out, tired and dry? Purpose of staying on is zilch? Friends leave i also leave? Our reason may be one of these. How abt seeing this from two different categories, youths and sgls? For youths, most of them probably and mainly come because of friends and duties. And when they start to leave, it is either because of friends or feeling left-out. As we can see from here, their purpose of coming is not..erm..how to put it..totally right? Somewhere around there i guess as one of my reasons of staying on in ym is also because of friends. For sgls, most of them also stay on mainly because of their responsibilities, committment and friends. But then, they start to have the sense of dryness, feel disappointed, no more purpose in staying and totally tired. In other words, maybe it is tahan until cannot tahan already. Hmm..does it sound right? You get the idea can already.

But coming back to the top of everything, why did we become sgls in the first place? To fit in? Peers? To feel a sense of importance? To serve God? To want to try to make a difference through a small grp? And when ideals are not met and fire disappears, we feel like giving up and leaving as we no longer have the purpose of staying on. Some of these do apply to me. But why do i stay on begin an sgl? Yes, i agree that it is because of friends in ym but then, the main reason came drawning to me. It is because of my small grp. Their smiles during small grp sessions, seeing them grow in the Lord and their sharing make everything worth it. I am accountable to them to God and they are beginning to open up. If i leave, how wld they feel? What i am trying to say here is although we may not feel important in ym, we may be important to others even though they may not say. We can each make a difference in one way another especially begin a sgl although it may not be a big one. Some of us may even not realise that we are a great influence and can make a greater difference in ym. It is whether we want to or not. If we as sgls leave, what keep our members leaving as well. Are we not suppose to be examples for them to follow and look up to?

Let us give it some thought. If we individually feel like leaving, what abt the leaders in ym com? Don't they feel the same way we do? So what keep them from leaving ym? They also know what're happening in ym but why do they keep trying their best in making a difference? I do not want to keep elaborating abt all these but those of you who has the Purpose Driven Life book, do read up Day 15-21. I find these chapters very related to our current situation now.

That's all i want to say. If i continue on, this entry will be a really long one. I am going to leave you with a sentence frm the book itself. Only the Holy Spirit can create real fellowship between believers, but he cultivates it with the choices and commitments we make.

Dre@my JeSs Life Written @ 5:43 AM

Sunday, May 08, 2005

It's time for me to update cos someone has been bugging me to loh. Heh.. And i think i wanna change my blog design already. Quite bored wif it. Anyway, yesterday night Envision (sch-based ministry) had bbq at joey's chalet. But before that, the guys went to play pool while the girls went to macs and had a toking session of lotsa crap. Haha..wat's new manz!!


Then during the bbq, i was taking photos and jamie was saying i like one of the paparazzi. Hmm..i wonder why he got 'irritated'. It's not like he's one of the celebs. Nvm. My cam is wif shaun so i can't upload the photos into my com yet. Will do soon i hope when he returned it to me. Aft that, we went to the beach to take a walk and shaun tried to scared kw. It was scary k cos the whole area was dark, quiet and super deserted. There was no one ard except us. Eerie aso lor. O..we spotted a sign near where all the trees are and it looked like a tombstone frm afar. Plus it din't help when kw said it's like there's a man there. Wah. Scary manz. Brrrrr...


Enuf said cos i am starting to feel chills running down my spine. I finally listened to the latest Hillsong United cd, 'Look To You'. It's ok but i prefer the previous one. Nicer. But yeah, who am i to judge. It's all for God and He is gonna look into the hearts of His worshippers; and not the songs they sing nor the actions they do. Yup.


K..starting to think abt something and i shall not write it into here. Maybe i will, maybe i will not. O wellz.. Candy dreams!! ;)

Dre@my JeSs Life Written @ 2:31 PM

Sunday, May 01, 2005

There is nothing to do and since i am online, i decided to blog. My com is finally rid of most viruses and it's all thanks to jere, who stayed up the whole night downloading, scanning and restarting the com again and again. We had a nice long chat, drinks and porridge. But now i got black eyes. Heh.. It was a gd change as i went to his hse a few times but he hasn't come mine. ;) Still my com will be at his hse soon as he is gonna upgrade my hard disk and ram. Yup..my dad had agreed. Yay!!


O..and i met up wif khalis in jere's hse on thurs. Glad to hear that although he is being bombarded wif all the muslim doctrines, he is also growing in Christ. Pray that God will continue to grant him the strength he needs and guide him always. Yup..then on fri, envision did a short film on 'rescue hostage' all thanks to shaun's idea. Cool rite? Shall not elaborate on it as it will be long. Haha.. And as for today, i had e-games meeting (was roped in) and it was productive. But there are still many things to settle.


Ok..there's nothing else to rumble on abt so i might as well end here. Nitez!

Dre@my JeSs Life Written @ 3:19 PM